How Many Views Would I Get If I Wrote A Story About . . . Poop?

Let’s put it to the test. The scoop on poop

Everyone does it . . . by one name or other

Too yukky and vulgar? Prefer it in French? Caca. I learned the word sitting around the table with a bunch of French friends when somehow the subject came up. Fortunately, no one was eating. But they found the English word for poop très drôle. My friend Peter was less amused to discover that péter in French means ‘to fart.’

Anyway, what got me onto the topic of excreta was a New York Times story about gut health — which, in addition to having the right balance of enzymes, means how efficiently food moves through your digestive system. What goes in, must come out.

If your gut isn’t healthy . . . how can I put this delicately? You either have to make a mad dash to the loo, or you endure too many long and unproductive sessions there.

An unhealthy gut will also make you feel bloated, sluggish and blah. Which sounds all too familiar right now. Did someone say Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes? Obviously, this story is the natural outcome of a previous one that asked: