THE IMPONDERABLE MYSTERY OF MEDIUM EARNINGS

I Am Jealous Of Nicole Kidman’s Arms, But Not For The Reasons You’re Probably Thinking . . .

I just don’t understand why her arms get all the glory while hard-working winemakers are left in the dust.

Jac Williams via Wikimedia Commons

I first wrote about Nicole Kidman’s arms because pictures of them were all over the news— prominently featured in the Guardian, which I read most mornings and also in the Telegraph which I mostly read to keep track of the latest far-right pronouncements and misdeeds. I think they were even featured in Le Monde which I read because I live in France.

With apologies to the Scarlet Pimpernel —

I saw them here, I saw them there. Those Kidman arms were everywhere.

If only they were as damned elusive.

Anyway, I decided to write about it, or them, which I did during boring parts of a movie we’d started watching one Sunday morning. Usually, we drink champagne in the garden on Sunday mornings, but it was raining so we drank champagne and watched a movie instead.

My story about whether it was admirable for Kidman to look so buffed and toned at 55, or a…