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HUMOUR
Wondering How To Celebrate Your Birthday? Take A Leaf (Gold Plated) From Gwyneth Paltrow’s Book
It could make that special someone in your life very happy
OK, that’s not Gwyneth Paltrow before she stripped off everything and painted herself gold to celebrate her fiftieth. You haven’t seen the pictures? Maybe you live under a rock. No problem, if you can’t find poses of golden Gwyneth — they’re as ubiquitous as Nicole Kidman’s arms — I can ask someone I know who has salivated over . . . sorry I mean intensively studied the artistry of Gwyneth’s nude and golden perfection.
I’d just emerged from the shower, hair dripping wet, wrapped in my ancient but still serviceable dressing gown when a phone screen was thrust in front of my face.
“D’you see what Gwyneth Paltrow did for her birthday?” Appreciative laugh. “What a body. Look at these pictures. Look!”
Fortunately, I blinked before I saw much, or maybe the golden gleam mercifully blinded me for a moment.
I responded, in lofty tones, that my interest in seeing naked pictures of Gwyneth Paltrow covered in gold paint was on par with seeing pictures of a former president, naked but for a red hat, covered in gold paint.
