You make some very good point, Yana, about race and class. I haven't had your experiences so I won't even touch on that. My aversion to Markle is that while her claim to fame exists almost entirely because of her marriage into royalty--I'd never heard of her previously--she appears to want all the benefits without the responsibilities of actually being a working member of royalty.
Incidentally, I'm not a monarchist, I find the whole thing an anachronism. I have pretty much the same feelings towards Kate Middleton who before marrying the heir to the throne seems to have done nothing much with her life. Her saving grace, in my opinion, is that she has at stuck it out and performed all the appropriate things that royalty are expected to do.
Still the idea of deference to either of these women is laughable--in my opinion of course.