You're not. The opening line of a piece I just wrote was: Some days my brain is like an incredibly irritating person I’m stuck with for the foreseeable future. Worse, I have no idea how to deal with it.

Unfortunately--or fortunately--I didn't have ants to get me going and improve my mood.

I'm sorry to read you're going through this, Sara, but you're definitely not alone. Big hugs and best wishes for many good things coming your way.